Three or one, and one or three?
Not the glorious Trinity,
But the millions in the pew.
Counting folk like me and you.

Church Statistics Zero Two,
Show the trends both great and few.
Overall the count is down
On estates and inner-town.

Suburbs and the country teams
Showed more promise, so it seems.
City centres? Some increase,
But their struggles never cease.

Hereford, Lincoln and Carlisle,
Have baptised the most on file.
Brum and London, Southwark then
Were the worst with one in ten.

Christmas worship in that year
Caused so many to appear.
Two point six the million sum
Of the people that did come.

Add to this the sundry rites,
Carols, pageants, choral nights,
Christingles and children’s choirs,
Swell the totals, it transpires.

All this brings us to an end,
Not for us the downward trend.
With our maths we can confound,
And the Church is safe and sound.